Adjustments Making and Results to improve in the Race of Life Part One

 

Today once again I write about life and need changes.  I am one that suffers and lives through numerous mental health conditions.  I realize that with this being home working from home and just being stationary, that I need more structure to do the little things every day to improve my life.  More structure because if not I will freak out and all of it falls like London bridge.  I need to make the adjustments to a schedule every day just doing little adjustments.  I say adjustments instead of changes because its not trying to get it all back because like in racing if you try to change it all go worst to first.  This will put more stress on the engine and the structure of the car will fail.  The biggest issue I have is that I can have one little moment a hiccup and with me at times I throw it all out.  Most would say because I am a perfectionist however it’s just anxiety and lower confidence that we do this most of the time.  I need to just like a golf swing and take my time, hit every step.  Do not miss a rung on this new ladder of stability.  Stay the course like I am a coach in football, not giving up on a run because of a small gain.  Just chip away stay on the game plan however I am human, so it is hard.  I will write about my journey because right now I weigh in about 229 pounds.  I need to get down however need to focus on my strength not just running and getting weight down lower but getting body fat lower.  Wake up push ups and core work then get a coffee start my day while I log into work.

Next is lunch and breaks leaving the computer go outside walk run and be active.  I must write all of this down on a schedule.  Make sure I follow the schedule like my life depends on it.  That is why I will write it on this blog as a series of entries.  My diet must be changed and watch my drinking however I still want to enjoy my life.  When we cut ourselves off then we usually have a binge happen because mentally we have a deficit.  We always must pay the piper at the end of the day.  Focus is hard for me sometimes because I am like oh look over their type person.  Call it ADHD or whatever you want.  This lack of focus sometimes I need to follow steps almost at a paint by number rate.  No room for quitting because if I am just left without nothing will get done, I will overthink it.  Over thinking will shut down the whole internal system almost like a safe mode that my mind and body go into this mode.

I looked around tonight and once again my room are a symbol of my mind set.  If it is a mess, I am a mess mentally.  Tine to clean up all these areas.   I then say that this seems easy to say however the bigger the mess the harder it is to clean up.  Therefore, my grandma said pick up every day to save time in the future then you spend it today.  It is the same with relationships spend time to not have to devote all the time in days to play catch up like in racing.  Well remember I was talking about visiting friends and the pain sometimes that is because one I tend to lock away in my hole which is good sometimes however I tend to go full blown then I feel bad I am not around my friend’s that are family.  Once again, the race that is life, I am playing keep up then it takes its toll mentally, physically then I crash and breakdown.  Being human is not always fun however it is life you need to live it.  Small different changes every day to gain on each lap.  Do not forget balance and with my birthday coming up I know the scales as a libra need to be balanced.  Have fun however not to forget to get things done.  I waste so much time trying to wake up and I shut down.  I must wake up on schedule sleep on another.  We all know this is almost impossible.  Almost is the operative word because I know now it seems to be mission impossible however all things are possible within reason.

I now know what I must do the rest is just the small adjustments and writing about it everyday not just for the entertainment of others to read, to also keep me accountable.  Making sure as I read what I type it is absorbed.  This is a mirror for me to look at everyday to assure success I cannot take my eyes off of it or like many celebrities I can pretend I am perfect. A must is to get out and date as well, yes many females have fallen off however I will make small adjustments to wear the hell out of this word.  I use it because then it will be stuck in my head and hopefully anyone that encounters this set of entries.  Making sure I post on this series is an everyday affair for the near future to build a habit and not let it go by the wayside.  Well thank you for reading and hope you look forward to results as I do to report them.

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