Free yourself like a bird

 

Today I had written a blog post that was passionate, and I lost it due to my quick trigger finger to restart my laptop.  It was frozen and after further thought I may need one in the future however that is not why I am writing today because this one my old war horse has not failed me yet and I will continue with it.  I type on this like a piano player does his keys.  My old piano plays the songs that I strum with the keys sometimes somber and others happy.  This is the music is mine even though some would not understand because I bleed on this keyboard. Through my fingers the blood floods through the good and bad times of my life. I should not separate them like good and bad children.  These are all experiences some of the Bad were just learning experiences.  The good we learn however the lesson does not stick in our memories.

I know some of my posts are a little dramatic, others a little sad, or those that are joyous or to simplify good.  I had an email from a former brother of mine from my squad whom recently left prison.  He apologized after I did then state you did nothing wrong.  I do feel at times wrong however it is only because others that got away with the crime have turned their backs blaming me.  I was condemned out of the military for a crime someone had committed.  They committed rape of a local national during our mission.  Some had because of family contacts had gotten out of it and I was punished secretly by their relatives in the military.  I was a mere peasant and they had plenty of back up except one that took the fall for all of them.  Served his time and now is trying to find a new life in a different country.  He admits fault however does not want to be associated with a country that one can be sent to prison while others are spared because of family connections.  He served his prison sentence honorably and my discharge was honorable.  I received however a sentence from the military for my snitching for lack of better word. I was condemned by my brothers and by my country.  I will live with this however I did nothing wrong except try to maintain civility and humanity in a time when others lost theirs.  I just wanted to vent now that the whole ordeal is over.  My tears have been cried; my regret has passed like a storm.  I must move on in life just like a man that the military would not call honorable however I think owning up to one’s mistake was honorable in its own way.  Time to move on and life cannot end since this had to end my guilt and my sadness, and my anger need to fly away like the leaf when autumn comes.