Alright Stop one f ing second

 

Today I have had numerous thoughts that I wanted to evacuate from my brain because it’s a potential disaster in the making.  I make mistakes in life and often I vent to people, I don’t often however when I do all the feelings come out at once.  That’s why I turn to writing on here and share it to the masses of people.  Well all ten or fifteen views I get on this however this is not about the views it is the people knowing what is on my mind.  Today I found possibly the first of many to find my blog offensive. I know that some of my musing can be strong. 

Well this day has been disastrous and of course I am being dramatic since LSU just dropped the equivalent to a deuce on television today.  I know this is not my sports blog however I will state emotionally it crushed me even more than normal.  I know blogging is antiquated and most people despise reading period.  I am tired today I have gained weight to a point of sadness looking at a picture of myself.  I must be better in life and healthier because I am getting worse just from doing nothing.  I am wasting away dying inside while getting obese.  I am not feeling right however I have been the comeback kid before.  This is different because I am upset, and I do not blame anyone else besides the one in the mirror. 

I despise this person immensely however this battle seems to be one of a war.  A civil war inside me however let me just state this will not at all be civil well because war is not civil.  This is going to be a fight against my head and this ringing in my ears to be better.   

Alright let’s stop this feeling bad you asshole.  No war to be fought your done with wars and all that foolishness. Time to put your big boy pants on and soldier on.  Yes, I need to talk to myself like this in order to shake this funk that I presently find myself.  Now I do reserve the right to not sleep well then get up in a grumpy bad mood then it all flushes away until the next time I take a nap like a petulant child then wake up in a better mood.  Yes, as one of my friends calls me a child.  We are all still children however society and life has raked us in the eyes enough that our innocence. 

I need to make changes and fight through all the road blocks my mind or body shoves in my direction like King Kong lobbing barrels at Mario however he persevered.  I can not allow myself to go under with all that negativity from even earlier in my blog.  I know that a flip of the script time for an ending to 2020 so outrageous that M. Night Shymalan would not even think of writing.  The ending will be great or at least make strides to marching for ward strong for 2021.  I am not the New York Jets with doom and gloom.  Let it begin….