I am dying!!!!!!!!!.....with Random thoughts

 

I am dying!  Well that what Kelly on the office says in one episode.  She yells it for the attention during a meeting because she is bored.  I know its dramatic that is how I feel when I am anxious and tired.  Yelling it then running away like batman with a cloud of smoke to disappear however it would look more like the hockey players from Letterkenny yelling ninja dust poof.  I have been stressing myself a lot lately and my room is of course a mess.  I have so many projects to complete that I have not started any of them.  I get to the point I shut down and I know this is not a healthy behavior because this is a total shutdown.  I will figure out a way to get passed this and get something done because I need structure and organization.  The disaster that I must clean up because with zero plans or structure, I do not get what needs to be done completed. 

The feeling on this Monday is anxious or maybe it is too much caffeine with this shake I drink in the mornings. 

I have made progress in this disaster area I call a room.  I stopped writing yesterday which I do often when I get busy with work or like the previous day work out.  I have been on the cardio like I am running from something or too something.  I am trying to figure out how to have more fun or let myself that is.  This blog will go a couple of more subjects like a kid with ADHD trying to play soccer.  No position just running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Well if that is American Soccer the selfishness however let me leave that for a sports blog not my personal thoughts. Well it is Christmas week and I should mention that the depression is not present as it has in previous years.  I hope it doesn’t creep up like the boogeyman from under the bed.  That sneaky bastard depression.