The Chaotic Mind of Jalen????

  Today I just need to vent and once again spill these thoughts like a spillway because I am full to the brim.   I know I should not let people from the past in my head however the words some shoot like arrows do hit their mark.   I cannot fend all of them off.   My ex asked if I wanted some pictures of her naked because I cannot like the quality or lack their of the females since she has departed.   Well I know she is jealous and married, that she still wants to cut me little by little until I am drained.   I swear before I blocked her those million paper cuts have taken their toll on me.   The other part of it is the females that have left lately, I just do not know why they cannot relax with me instead of threats and accusations thrown at me when they do not understand.   Just because I am not at their house does not mean I am partying like a Rockstar.   I go where I am comfortable and try my hardest to let them in however then the wiping ...

  “How many roads does a man walk down, before you call him a man?” “All the shine of a thousand spotlights, All the stars we steal from the night sky, Will never be enough, never be enough.”   Why am I quoting two different songs for this one blog?   Will anything ever be enough, to prove myself to be a man.   I will always be fighting however I feel that I am lost no future.   I do not know where to go, I need to be doing more school and improving however I am just tired.   I have not slept that much in the past few days.   I have an admission for everyone.   I never felt like I was enough for my exes and that I was always falling.   I was always trying to prove I was good enough for them.   That eventually led to my downfall as a person.   I had all the confidence in the world just to burn it all out.   Leaving me dejected and just falling as my grandma said if an angel can fall so can man.   How to I pull mys...